TOP FIVE BEERS # 6 | “Top Five Beer Pet Peeves”
Pet Peeves! We all have them; for any subject. Well, since this is a beer website and I’m feeling a bit fussy these days about some things, I thought I’d share my top five beer pet peeves with you. If anyone takes personal offense to any of these…GOOD! I mean I apologize if you take offense to any of these. Nah, but seriously, I’ve been guilty of a couple of these myself, but it’s time to change. I’m sure you have your own peeves with craft beer, so please share them with the rest of us in the comments section. Together we can make the beer world safer and more enjoyable for those of us with issues.
# 1 I NEED A DATE
With the vast number of beers to choose from these days, it can be very hard to know what’s fresh and what’s been sitting there for months (or even years). While many stores have still not adopted the “Fridge the Hops!” mentality, there are some that do. And there are some brewers that help the situation even further by dating their bottles. This may not be as important on higher ABV beers, but it sure as hell is on the Pale Ales, IPA, and Imperial IPAs of the world. For the brewers that are still behind the 8-ball on implementing a dating system, we the beer community say…nay we scream, PUT BOTTLING DATES ON YOUR BEER so we know whether or not we should buy that nine-month old IPA that’s making us ponder our hard-earned dollars. And extra credit goes to those breweries who share aging recommendations…
# 2 FINGERING YOUR HEAD
In the grand scheme of things, a beer’s head is only somewhat important. By looking at the consistency of the bubbles, for example, you can get a pretty good idea of how well-crafted the beer is. It can also give you a pretty good idea of how long the head will retain itself on the beer. The amount of head can also be important, but it can also mean absolutely nothing. Some brewers simply over (or under) carbonate their beers and this can play a huge factor in how much head you receive. Therefore, the measurement of it is virtually inconsequential to the overall experience. So please, take it from someone who cares – I could care less how many fingers of head a beer has. Please don’t hold your fingers to the glass again. Fingers should be reserved for lids of weed.
# 3 I LIKE MINE RARE
With craft beer becoming more popular and one-day releases (like Dark Lord or Kate the Great) becoming more prevalent, limited release beers are becoming more of a regular occurrence. Unfortunately, what this has created is a sort of “black market / get your name on a list” way of buying beer. And there’s a new one every week now! While I’ll admit that a higher percentage of these beers are worthy of the fight, some are not. Because of this new obsession for the rare, there are now tons of great “regularly available” beers sitting on shelves dying slow deaths that no one seems to want anymore. While I don’t intend to give up completely on the occasional interesting rarity, I’m becoming increasingly happier to stick with the Rochefort 10 and Lagunitas Hop Stoopids of the world any day.
# 4 WHO NEEDS A SMOKE
I support anyone who has the courage to put themselves in front of a video camera to review a beer. Over time, more and more people have popped up to share their opinions on the subject. And we all have a language that we’ve learned along the way when it comes to describing the way a beer looks, smells, and tastes. But the one thing I consistently see that is peeving me in a weird way is the need to comment on the “smoke” that comes up out of the bottle when the cork or cap is removed. We can all agree that beer is (or should be) carbonated before we drink it. So it should be no surprise that there will be CO2 that escapes from the bottle when it’s freed into the world. So having said that, please, for the love of GOD, stop calling it “smoke.”
# 5 CELLARS
I grew up in the underwhelming suburbs of Oklahoma City as a child. It was (and still is) the epicenter for tornadoes. What’s funny, though, is that no one there has basements. The red clay is too costly and hard to dig through for most homebuilders. However, once in a while you will see a real life cellar: a separate entity from the house where one goes to hide from Mother Nature. I imagine the vast majority of beer nerds today don’t have true cellars – they have basements. Some don’t even have that, so they resort to storing their beer in closets and any other place that is dark and cool. If I had my way we would never use the word cellar again. It’s fine to cellar beer, but call your beer storage area what it truly is: basement; closet; box on the floor; etc. But please – not cellar.
Posted by KevSal on July 8, 2011 at 7:46 AM
number one drives me nuts! so much so i refuse to buy ipas without dates on them. sorry sculpin, you may be delicious but im not betting my 8-10 bucks that i get a fresh one.
date your damn bottles!
Posted by KevSal on July 8, 2011 at 7:48 AM
even dates for “storage” would be nice.
heres another pet peeve of mine. i know you love founders but dammit either stop using black ink to date kbs, back woods, etc or just PLEASE date the danm label!
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 8:35 AM
I agree with dating the label. It should be a very cheap fix for breweries of that size. For beers like KBS and Backwoods I’m okay with them not labeling since I usually write the year on them when I buy them. They are also only released once a year so I’m fine without dates. But yeah… IPAs and Pale Ales MUST have visible dates…
Posted by KevSal on July 8, 2011 at 5:43 PM
yes that may be true but for someone like me who has to trade to receive those bottles, and if they arent labeled id have to take their word for it or drink it to find out. ive recieved a few kbs extras that are in my cellar now that i really dont know what years they are.
most people do label them
Posted by Cara & Louie on July 8, 2011 at 8:16 AM
Bottle dating has become a big thing for me. I’d rather buy a sixer of Union Jack or Maximus, knowing exactly how old they are, rather than roll the dice on something else. So few breweries date the bottle (or date it in a readable way) that my recycling for the last few months has just been full of the aforementioned (great) beers.
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 8:33 AM
From a business standpoint I can see why these breweries don’t put their bottling dates on the bottle. Because they don’t want people NOT buying their beer. But there’s going to be a time when word spreads and no one (like us) will buy their beer without a date. Hell, even the big three put the dates on their cans and bottles and they have a far inferior product.
Posted by KevSal on July 8, 2011 at 5:40 PM
i never understood this business model. wouldnt it make more sense for customers to only buy fresh bottles? one bad bottle and they will loose that customer from ever trying it again
Posted by Amy Satterlund on July 8, 2011 at 8:30 AM
Love it. #2 has driven me nuts for a long time. It also has a lot to do with how you pour the beer into the glass. Pour it from a foot above the glass, straight down to the middle? You’re gonna get a lot of foam. Pour slowly down the side of the glass? Not much. It’s silly to include it in a beer review, IMO.
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Hahaha…this is one of the peeves I felt bad calling out, because I know a lot of reviewers do it and I felt like I was calling them out. I think they do it mainly because it’s kind of been the “language” for a long time and some just still use it. But it’s time to move on from it…
Posted by Amy Satterlund on July 8, 2011 at 8:52 AM
Heh, yeah, it’s not a big deal or anything, just a little silly
I think you’re exactly right, it’s just part of a “standard” BA review and probably habit more than anything… but I’m not sure it’s really needed.
Posted by Robbie on July 8, 2011 at 9:46 AM
beeradvocate.com
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 9:53 AM
There is definitely a lot that bugs me about that site. But please…do tell.
Posted by Robbie on July 8, 2011 at 12:34 PM
The pretentiousness that comes with that website is really irritating to me. I feel like almost everyone on that website is too caught up trying to review a beer and brag about what they have drank rather than actually enjoying it.
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 4:40 PM
Agreed! I asked a very valid question one time and got ripped apart by some random know-it-all. I was like…are you for real? I guess it’s prominent on most message boards, but I also guess that most people are shit-faced (or approaching it) when they throw their unhappy elitist responses all over the place there.
Posted by Robbie on July 9, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Yeah. It becomes very off putting to me because when I first got into craft beer I was 18 and just loved to drink “the good stuff”. Obtaining Dead Guy and 60 Minute from a liquor store with a fake ID was the height of my weekends. I’m 23 now and have legal access to beer so when I see things like that I’m happy to have came from such humble beginnings.
Posted by Patrick on July 10, 2011 at 9:28 PM
There are definitely some irritating things about the site, but I still think it’s a great resource with (often) helpful people. It’s true that there are some real elitist jerks there, but I can’t hate it for that reason, as this is also the case with every website ever. Also, real life.
Posted by Tim Pratt on July 8, 2011 at 11:05 AM
What, you don’t want me to review that Julian dated, 5 year closet-cellar-aged Westy 12 with 7 fingers of head that will pour smoke upon opening? Astonishing. Fine, BA will get my review giving this beer a 107 out of 100.
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 4:41 PM
Congratulations Mr. Pratt. I think that pretty much covers all of them. I have no clever response…
Posted by Barry Grass on July 8, 2011 at 3:54 PM
RE: fingering –
For that matter, the color of a beer is relatively unimportant, yes? The entire appearance of the beer is unimportant relative to the aroma and flavor and mouthfeel. I will continue to give a finger-size of the head for the same reason that I will continue to mention what color the body is: out of nothing more than pure description.
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 4:05 PM
I actually think color is somewhat important. I mean, no it may not change the flavor or aroma but I do love to look at a beer. Especially one with beautiful color and clarity. Mikkeller’s Big Worse Barleywine is the ugliest beer I’ve ever seen. I counted off pretty highly for that one…
Posted by Barry Grass on July 8, 2011 at 3:56 PM
Beer pet peeves:
RateBeer
The Alstrom Bros.
Lack of bottling dates
grade inflation on reviews
how it makes my wallet feel
Posted by thehopry on July 8, 2011 at 4:06 PM
re: The Alstrom Bros.
Yeah, I really just hate their need for a weekly “rule.” It’s like, dude you have a great site. Embrace people instead of pushing them away.
Posted by Lyndon on July 9, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Awesome article!
Re: Cellars -
Interesting to see the different geographic perspectives on cellar vs. basement etc. Where I’m from in Ontario, most of the older pre-WWII houses have what we call a “cellar” which was used for storing vegetables and other such items year round. I’ve got a modern concrete underground room beneath the front porch that I consider to be my “cellar”. It’s nothing special but it maintains a constant temperature and I use it to store wine/beer. It used to store fruit/vegetables but I had to prioritize my space…
You’re right though. we should really call it for what it is–a basement– It’s just more explanative sometimes to say “cellar” when referring to proper storage and the ability to bring out a Belgian at a proper serving temperature.
Loved the article–Keep it up!
Posted by thehopry on July 10, 2011 at 3:35 PM
Some people really do have cellars. But not many. And hell, it’s just a word but it’s been on my nerves lately. This one probably could have been changed out for the one I mentioned below, which is the peeve that there are only two styles of craft beer: IPAs and Imperial Stouts.
Posted by Lyndon on July 10, 2011 at 9:06 PM
damn. that’s a great one. Never consciously considered that…sad but true.
Posted by Cara & Louie on July 10, 2011 at 11:36 PM
The main reason I use the word cellar is that it is the closest approximation one can use in reference to the beers they are aging. “Lets go pick something out from the beer closet,” just doesn’t sound as good. I also like the term “cellaring,” as a colloquial reference to the practice of aging beer. I grew up with a cellar, but for a middle-class (read: poor) family, the cellar is the place one hides from tornados, not where one stores beer and wine. Although, I will say I spent a lot more time hiding behind a mattress in a stairwell, but I digress.
Posted by Barleywhiner on July 9, 2011 at 3:54 PM
Stores keeping stuff behind the counter has been my pet peeve lately. I have no problem with bottle limits, and I’m fine with having a waiting list, but sometimes it’s just a hassle trying to track down the right person to ask them if they have what you’re looking for. Are you afraid people might actually spend some money in your store?
Posted by thehopry on July 10, 2011 at 3:32 PM
I hear you. It’s getting worse, too. I mean I’ll fight for some Hopslam once a year but the rest are starting to drive me crazy.
Posted by thehopry on July 10, 2011 at 3:33 PM
One peeve that I forgot about (that could have easily made this list) is the thought that there are only two styles of craft beer: IPAs and Imperial Stouts.
Posted by Barry Grass on July 10, 2011 at 9:30 PM
I think it is a growing pang, a phase, that the American beer market is in right now. Consumers are valuing the most extreme flavors they can get, which is why every one-off, barrel-aged, choco-coffee-bourbon-vanilla-etc beer is so well received in terms of scores on the big two beer sites.
Eventually, the collective American palate will come to appreciate nuance, focus, and freshness. Eventually, people will be able to respect a robust porter, or a Belgian blonde, as much as they respect a West Coast IPA or a gigantic imperial-strength beer. I hope, anyway.
Posted by Matt Abendschein on July 12, 2011 at 9:20 AM
#3 is also becoming a bit of an annoyance for me too. I have to admit, I went through a phase where I wanted nothing but big, extreme, rare beers to put into my ‘cellar’
. However, through talking with brewers and through many tastings, I’ve come to realize that the smaller ‘session’ beers, the ones beer geeks are starting to overlook (by accident in many cases), are just as good and in many cases are harder to make. Jester King for example, makes a flavorful English Mild. At 3.3% abv, it’s very difficult to create a beer that light and flavorful. And at that low, it’s much easier for ‘off’ flavors to come though. You aren’t able to mask ‘off’ flavors with butt loads of hops, fruits, or other extremities.
Posted by thehopry on July 12, 2011 at 10:08 AM
I agree with you 100%. And for the record, I would be EXTREMELY happy if more breweries were making Gose, Milds, and others with very low ABV levels. To be honest, I hope it’s the next big thing… Just make a lot of them so they’re not “limited release” ya know?
Do you know if Jester King bottles that English Mild? I’d love to try it if so…
Posted by Amy Satterlund on July 12, 2011 at 10:13 AM
They do not, unfortunately. They only bottle their Wytchmaker (rye PA that is absolutely stunning) and their RIS. If you do get a chance to try the mild, though, please do. I ordered it on a whim (Loved the name, “commercial suicide”) and at first thought something was wrong… then looked at the description again and realized it’s a *barrel-aged* mild. Love it! Very fun beer to drink.
Posted by Darrell on July 12, 2011 at 7:47 PM
Three & four are the ones that bug me most! As for dating, I like the HaandBryggeriet bottles(Batch no., as well as bottled on & use by dates). And I notice that some newer Mikkeller’s-Big Worst & Black(Cognac Edition)have a ‘aging/use by’ date.